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 Movie
reviews are a dime a dozen,
But then critics gotta do what self-anointed, self-absorbed critics
gotta do.
As an avid moviegoer, I wonder! Do they bring more people to ticket
windows?
How relevant are they?
Hollywood crams screens with far too many “forgettable” films to
write or speak about. Single voices are hard to hear, among the many
in a chorus of magazines, newspapers, radio, television, and the
Internet, the lowbrow home of wannabes.
Top reviewers still carry considerable clout, with Roger Ebert and
“thumbs up” probably the most recognizable.
But box office receipts indicate critics have little effect on
so-called popcorn films,
those big action flix and the sex-laced comedies. Business school
researchers have found that 70% of fans are mostly influenced by TV
ads and word-of-mouth. Although there’s no doubt that studio
advertising blitzes for big budget pix usually deliver a huge
audience on opening weekend.
The average fan can be forgiven for being cynical. In a 2001
landmark court case, Sony
admitted that oft-quoted “critic” David Manning was an entirely
fictional creation of its marketing department.
And shortly thereafter, there were class action suits filed by the
Los Angeles “Citizens for Truth in Movie Advertising” against 10
major picture studios.,
Some are still not above lifting lines from reviews out of context
and running them as blurbs.
Evidence also seems to point to a few “traditional” critics
supplying extra quotes that do not appear in their published or
broadcast reviews.
In some instances, studios freeze out critics. According to a recent
AP report, 14 movies
in 2006 have not been screened in advance for reviewers. And that’s
just through the first four months.
If Hollywood truth be known, the worst thing you can say about a
movie is to say —nothing.
But anything is possible, even a glowing comment before the film is
released.
If you can’t dredge up something usable from “A” “B” and “C” listers,
give the
Sunshine Boys a ring.
Earl Dittman is a true veteran in the bullpen of so-called “blurb”
artists. According to
Yahoo, he’s “one of the most quoted” in the business. Earl works out
of Houston for “Wireless Magazine”, which is no magazine in the real
sense, but what some describe as a printed “puff” release
distributed to movie theaters and record stores throughout the
country. Usually in the “Free, take one” rack Earl’s endorsements
have appeared in countless movie ads, though he denies direct
connections with any studio.
Actually, as an “average Joe” (his words) he publishes no reviews,
but is said to fax a few blurbs of praise to worried studio flaks.
Of course, he isn’t alone as a blurb artist, dumbed down by
well-respected critics
as “cogs in the Hollywood publicity machine.”
Dittman was perhaps the first to get any sort of media attention in
the late 1990’s, and
a decade later, named in that LA Citizens group in its class action
suit.
Blurbmiesters carry a shotgun of stock phrases. Chronic repeaters
such as “Spectacular” “Edge of seat” “Thrilling” “Joyride” “Tour de
force” and so on. “Awesome” “Zestful” A to Z thru a Thesaurus.
One of Dittman’s specialties is the alliteration rainbow: “Stylish,
Sexy, Suspenseful” “Enticing, Exhilarating, Enormously
Entertaining”.
All part of an inescapable vocabulary, even among the
traditionalists.
According to eFilm critic website, 2006 reviewers have used the
phrase “first great film of the year” or a very similar one, 18
times to date; “Must see”11; “best performance yet,” 6. And there
are only eight months yet to go.
In the most recent Arts and Leisure section of a Sunday New York
Times, I found two Dittman blurbs, but the identification was hard
to read.
But there it was, a lone name in a sea of black,
My Name is Earl.
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Gene Farinet, an award winning veteran newsman, spent much of his long
career at NBC News as a writer and producer working with Frank McGee,
Ed Newman, John Chancellor and Tom Brokaw, covering space, politics
and special projects everywhere in the world.
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